Name of Activity: To look at Non-Judgement more
Date and Venue of Event:
- 27th April: Dr. Kalmadi Shamarao High School, Primary Section, Ketkar Road,
- 28th April: Ecole Heritage, Baner
Kind of Activity: Indoor activity
Resource Person: Sandy Dias Andrade
Objective of Session :
- Looking at being non-judgemental
Activity Design: Experiential focusing on-
- Discussions and activities
No of Participants 61
Presentation by the resource person, demonstration & discussion
The discussion was around the impact of positive and negative labels on children. Different labels were pinned to the backs of 12 volunteers and the rest of the participants were asked to react to the volunteers. A discussion on what the volunteers felt about the reactions they got and what the participants felt while reacting to the volunteers was discussed. The following were the points put up by the participants:
- It was difficult to say something to the person having a negative label
- We get uneasy if we feel that the person opposite does not have a good perception about us
How am I seeing my child? Who is our child? Who are we?
Participants sat in a group and discussed: What labels do I put for my children? When was I judgemental? When was I pleased? The following were the learnings of the discussions:
- We are quick to judge our children when something goes wrong. But we rarely see the good things in them.
- Behaviour of the child and how we perceive them depends on our mood.
- Children and parents do not see things from each other’s perspective
- We need to think about how we can create a space that invokes cooperation and demand. We need to find out what is the whole truth of the moment and the reason behind the non-cooperation.
Looking at labels differently
In this activity, the participants learned to look at labels differently. For example:
- ‘Laziness’ was looked at as cool, calm, less stressed, taking your own time.
- ‘Clingy’ was looked at as wanting togetherness – ‘we’ feeling, affection, trust, cautiousness.
‘Rudeness’ was described as straight forward, courage, clarity, firm.
- Labels that we and the society gives to the children affects them. Both positive and negative labels have an impact.
- Children do not have a self-concept. It is still developing. The way people whom they love perceive them, has an impact on their personality.
- When we label our children, we have to think whether we are putting them in a jar. The truth is that we really don’t know who they are.
- Our view of our children is affected by social conditioning, our own conditioning and expectations.
- If someone is being judgemental about our children, we can step in and support them
- Our relation with teenager changes and should change
- While interacting with children, pause and look at what is happening inside you. Stop and correct yourself. Engage in a better way through dialogue. This way of dealing with the children is nor ‘reactionary’, its ‘responsive’.
Importance of passing on Life Messages to Children
Certain life messages are critical for all children: I believe in you; I trust you; I know you can handle this; You are listened to; You are cared for; You are really important to me; You matter.
We pass on these messages through our behaviour and verbally. Children absorb these messages and feel valued and loved.
It is important to pass on these messages to the next generation so that they can hold themselves together. If something shakes within them, these messages give them strength and save them from getting devastated. These messages give to the children the power to comfort themselves in difficult times.